Fat Coaches the New Role Models

11 Oct

I’m wondering if it is only in America that the coaches and teachers for athletics sports are fat?  We are living in a junk food eating society that makes it impossible to fit into when you have food allergies.

When my girls had been smaller I thought that we could meet others who would be interested in living a healthy life style so I thought pursing sports would be perfect.  Yet to my shock junk food has invaded even this forum of life and the coaches are fat.

Over the last year the girls took swimming classes and the swim teacher was overweight.  Since my daughter was just beginning to learn swimming I thought well this could be okay until the teacher found the way to keep the misbehaving boys to be good was to offer candy to them.  My daughter told me this and I felt so outraged.  Even in the swimming pool she has to be sad because other kids would be getting candy.

Now this fall my daughters are playing soccer and each week parents must bring in junk food for all the kids.  I felt horrible buying the requested junk juices loaded with chemicals.  Yet the parents are pleased and everyone is bringing in chips, cookies, candies and fake juices for all the kids.  The two coaches for my younger daughter are both obese and never even do a full practice.  They start 15 minutes late and end 15 minutes early.  The coach stands on the side lines and never really gets active.

Meanwhile my older daughter gets a super nice coach who wants healthy oranges to be brought to the games but yet the parents gave him such a hard time that I wonder if he will quit.  Parents can be demanding as they want to bring in junk food for the kids.  The coach backed down and said a year-end party would be good with all the junk food.

Every week at cheer leading there is a birthday party with junk food and at the tumble class there is junk food being sold and always some kind of event happening to raise money with more junk food.

This year I felt crashing disappointment because  I thought getting the girls involved in sports would lead to us finding other healthy like-minded families but found sports is only one more reason to eat together during the day some more junk food.

 

 

Food Allergy Discrimination at the Dentist

14 May

It felt like absolute discrimination from the Dentist because my 5 & 8 year old have food allergies.

Below is the letter I’m sending to the Insurance Company.  I took out the names of the dentist and insurance company but thought it would be helpful to have others see what we are dealing with:

Dear Director of Complaints and Grievances,

On May 12, 2015 I brought both my daughters to see Dr. X

Dr. X was completely discriminatory against my two daughters and would not even examine them when I told him that they both have severe Food Allergies to Dairy and Corn.  I explained to him that I didn’t want anything put into their mouths since Food Allergies have sent us to the Emergency Room on more than one occasion.

I said to him that I didn’t want to have Tooth Paste used unless I contacted the manufacturer to verify it was safe, and would be more than happy to make the call while I was there..  He refused, and told me that I could do that another time.  As I said to him, we have to get all our medicines compounded because of the food allergies, and he didn’t look happy.

He glanced at my younger daughter who was sitting in the chair and then at my older daughter who was standing up.  He went on to say that my daughters wouldn’t be able to sit still and that he couldn’t help us.  He told me that I would need to go to a Pediatric Dentist because the girls would move too much.  Meanwhile both my daughters had been very well behaved.

It was clear that he didn’t want anything to do with us and got us out of his examining room rather quickly.  I called the office on 5/13/2015 and even the receptionist who answered the phone was cold and said the dentist couldn’t help my girls since they are allergic to everything. I said it would be wrong to bill us, since the dentist didn’t do anything other than to tell us to leave the office because he couldn’t help us.

I would like it to be noted in the records and hope another Mom that has kids with food allergies wouldn’t have to go through this kind of degradation.   It was really upsetting to our whole family.

I find their lack of compassion very disheartening, since my youngest daughter was there for a toothache.

Regards,

Mother of Two Food Allergy Girls

 

 

Popcorn Allergies

4 Mar

American Corn

Pop pop pop goes the sounds that now seems more like a gun going off to me than the once beloved sound of popcorn at the ball games, movie theatres and camping trips.

The tantalizing smell of buttery popcorn permeates the store and now causes my daughter to start having a reaction.  My husband rushes our daughter out of Target who already has a rash on her beautiful five year old face.  She has a hard time swallowing and her throat hurts her.

They get home and that night she barely sleeps as she cries out in pain.  We haven’t had a reaction this bad in a long time and at the same time thankfully pray that we didn’t have to use the epi-pen.  The pain last for 3 days but finally it is gone.

I feel like I should be advocating strongly as a Mom to get corn allergies known about.  Yet I often feel like we struggle daily as we can barely afford to live.  No matter how much we work the bills hit us left and right.

I feel angry as a Mother that both my daughter have such severe food reactions.  It is only from a few that we receive any compassion while most friends and family think we are crazy.  They dismiss the ring around our girl’s mouths as nothing at all.  I have heard everything under the sun about what people think but I know if they had to live this life how quickly their attitudes would change.

I often wonder about the media and how nut allergies became real to the public.  Yet people can’t believe that corn or milk could cause anaphylactic reactions.   When you say you have food allergies people immediately think that you have a nut allergy.  I just don’t get it.

How funny when I tell the story about the popcorn I get “Oh, did the popcorn have peanut oil in it?”

NO I just want to scream we don’t have nut allergies!

It makes me sad because all American past times are off limits to us.   I remember when ball games didn’t cost a family $200 or the movies didn’t cost $48 and when get a camping spot was $5 and not $50 a night.  Now even just shopping in a store can mean life and death.

Our entertainment is night’s home but every day I have with my girl’s means the world to me.

Bought – Must See this Video!

3 Mar

Just finished watching the powerful documentary called Bought that had me in tears as I listened to the mother talked about what happened to her son after his 4th month vaccinations.  It gave me the shivers as I remembered how our own daughter screamed continuously and her smile had disappeared for the next year.  I had frantically called the doctor’s office to be told that her screaming cries and bleeding eczema on top of her head was not due to the vaccinations.

I felt angry all over again as I listened to how this Mom fought for 10 years because her son had become autistic.  She called it a living death.

Why are people not demanding to know every single ingredient inside the vaccinations?  You think about all the research people do when buying laptops and cars but what about the things we inject into our bodies?

I know I wish I could have seen this before we did vaccinations.  The amount of money being made is like an out of control train.  Is there a way to stop it before everything gets destroyed in the path?

I was vaccinated as a child and ate pure foods and now I look around in horror.  How did our foods become genetically modified without us knowing?  How many more people’s children will suffer because we don’t demand to know the ingredients?

Watch Bought:  http://Boughtmovie.com

 

Husband Suspended From Job Because Of Diabetes

26 Nov

Blood Pressure

This past week my husband’s employer conducted a health screening and he was suspended from his job due to his Diabetes that he hasn’t been controlling.  I’m always worrying about his health and now about him losing his job.  I’m terrified because this disease isn’t really so silent.

When my husband was first diagnosed with Diabetes it scared me since my grandfather died from it.  Immediately I wanted to tackle the problem by researching and reading all about it.  Yet I found my husband didn’t want to think about it because it was just too upsetting.  He took medications for a few months and then stopped.  His thought was he could change his lifestyle by eating healthy and exercising.

This I think is possible but insanely hard especially when you are always broke.  Currently he is working two jobs – 40 hours at one place and 28 hours at the second job with a 2 hour commute every day.  He works seven days a week so there is no time for exercise or even spending time with his kids.  His friends, co-workers and relatives all eat Standard American Diet so there isn’t any support from the outside.  The money is tight and we spend our money on healthy foods for the kids.  Buying cheap processed foods is a quick way to satisfy hunger when you’re out of the house from 5:30 in the morning until 10:30 at night.

The catch to buying cheap foods is you just get sicker and sicker so you are forced to take medications to save your job so you can keep buying cheap foods to get by.  In April we read on my husband’s health insurance forms that the estimated cost for diabetes a year is around $5,500.  This would be out of pocket since our deductible is over this amount.  How do you come up with this money?

Instead of being able to build our family back up after tumbling down and losing our home there seems to be no end.  Here we are two years later with 4 credit cards equaling $8,000 paying for 2 cars that have been towed off to the junk yard.  Let’s see at 28% interest on $8,000 and only paying the minimum amount seems to just keep us down.  Now we have to look forward to owing $5,500 out for next year if my husband wants to take care of his diabetes and keep his job.

Living in our society of social pressures in which everyone measures your success by your wealth, career and vehicle you drive has made my husband feel like he is a failure even though he is a wonderful and loving father and works two jobs every day trying to support his girls.  Now the pressure right before the holidays to think he could lose his job because of his blood pressure and diabetes is almost crippling to ones spirit.

I complain to friends who don’t honestly care but their responses have been “Why doesn’t your family help?”.  Honestly the attitude of family is not one of respect or compassion.  Instead our parents don’t understand how we are such miserable failures and didn’t succeed.  Ugh!  Somehow both our dads worked during a time when jobs gave out pensions which has disappeared for us.  Our parents bought homes and could support their families.

This week we all went to the doctors with my Husband which was a complete joke.  I told the doctor about how my husband has suffered from blood shot eyes and a swollen face and I wanted to take him to the hospital a few weeks ago.  The doctor told me that his symptoms are not related to diabetes.  It is so crazy because first the doctor tells us that my husband is perfectly fine and not to worry about his high blood pressure.  The doctor didn’t seem concerned about anything I said.  The doctor’s interest only seemed to perk up once my husband’s blood results came back and then the doctor wanted to prescribe a newly released extremely expensive medication that is now on the market place.  It made me wonder if the doctor was going to get some exotic tropical vacation for pushing this medication while we as a family would suffer from all the side effects my husband could go through.

It is also a joke signing up for the doctor’s office website, in which it tells on a sign in the office how the website will help patients to know their Test results and patient information.  I signed up for the website and found that it was only effective for billing.  The rest of the site was a joke and there has never been posted any information there this week.   This week I tried to get my husband a note from his doctor saying that it was safe for him to drive which is part of his job.  After 6 phone calls I finally got the nurse to respond back to me.

I’m wishing there was a support group for partners right now for someone living with a diabetic.  The doctor may dismiss what I say but I have been with my husband over the last twenty years and I know that he is suffering.  The disease affects the whole family because we have clearly seen that diabetes uncontrolled equals high and low sugars, crazy blood pressure which all affects temperament.

Sometimes it feels like I wish I could go to some kind of AA meetings because I don’t think people I know really want to hear about our problems especially since they are long term problems that can’t be solved instead the silent killer of diabetes slowly destroys your life.

Tonight I feel sad because we live probably in one of the richest areas of the United States which now I learn makes people extremely competitive and lacking of compassion.  Sometimes I wonder what would it be like to live in a community where people took care of each other?  Does anyone out there know if this place exists?

 

Holiday Twist with Food

21 Nov

Food allergy twist to holidays puts you at odds with our very culture.  Add to the food allergy twist living week to week without enough money to pay your bills.  Thanksgiving is a week away and in United States celebrating is all about the food and tons of it.  If you can’t eat the traditional celebration foods you become an outcast.  Try as you might to fit in – it never is the same.

For us it felt like a tidal wave of wheat, corn and dairy hitting us every year as we entered relative’s homes.  My daughters can’t have any of these foods and that is what is everywhere like a landmine.  It is scary as you walk carefully around everyone as they stuff their faces.

We have tried to fit in to the point of “Why?”  The grandparents laugh at our foods, cousins say gross and the Aunts push all our foods to the end of the table to make way for all the traditional foods.  It is the meanness of the people that make dealing with food allergies so insanely difficult.   The pain comes from the friends and family who are busy laughing and making fun of our alternative foods.

There is a closed mindness that no education can help when you are dealing with people who are not ready to open up their eyes and believe food allergies exist.  After the last seven years of trying to educate our families about food allergies I have to say that we haven’t made a breakthrough.  I’m not saying other people shouldn’t try to educate their own families and friends but for us I’m done.

In our family a typical scenario that has replayed over and over again goes as:

“Why can’t the girls eat the food?” ask Grandpa

“The girls have food allergies?” ask Grandma

“You are such strict parents to not allow them any desserts.”

“Oh, I’m sure they have out grown the food allergies by now.  Here let them eat some food we made.”

“No, No.  They are allergic and can’t have that.”

“What?  How can you say they are allergic?  We see they are eating Nuts and not having a reaction.” says the Aunt.

“No they don’t have a Nut Allergy.  Rose is allergic to Corn and Wheat and Lilly is allergic to Dairy.”

“Oh the poor children.  I bought them special pajamas for their allergies.  The pajamas are hypoallergic.  How they must suffer and can’t even play with toys.” says another Aunt.

“No, no.  They can play with toys and wear pajamas.  The girls have an allergy to Milk, Corn and Wheat.”

“That pie you made looks so gross, like dead French Fries.” says Grandpa

“Here is some candy and cookies for the girls to eat.” says the Uncle

“Our baby had a nut allergy but out grew it after I gave him special medicine from the doctor 20 years ago.” says his aunt.

“There is no cure for food allergies.” We say

“That is ridiculous.  There must be some pill for the girls.  Look I bought special pajamas for your allergic girls.”

Sometimes year after year we have started to feel like indeed we had entered some kind of nut house.  When we talk about walking around landmines of food because any of the thirty relatives may at any moment hand the girls food they can’t have.  Now the girls are older and hopefully would never put anything in their mouths but when an adult says this is safe then it could be hard on a kid.

Every holiday the same conversations go around and around as the girls get offered milk and cookies.  Somehow dairy is never thought to be milk or butter.  An allergy can only be due to NUTS thinks our relatives.  We are the crazy ones since we don’t have our kids on some magical medication to cure the allergy.

I gave it my best and now I accept the fact that it just isn’t going to happen.  We are not visiting our relatives anymore for the holidays.  Instead we will stay home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and enjoy our own little holiday.  The only sad part is there is a chance that my husband could be working his second job during the holidays so it could just be me and the girls.

The other part of our food nightmare is that we live week to week.  My husband works 40 hours at one job, commutes 2 hours a day and works 28 hours at his 2nd job.  I work part time but didn’t find work this semester teaching so the money is tight.   Even visiting a relative is hard when you don’t have gas money.  To top off the cake our vehicle broke down while driving up the snow covered mountain.  It was a horrible two hours as we waited to get it towed.  Today I found out that it was the transmission which would cost us $3,000.  Since we are completely maxed out on credit cards and have no way to fix the vehicle the only option was to have the car junked.

Our winter has been kicked off now with the loss of a vehicle.  Emptying out the car made me feel like I was losing my home all over again.  It is a terrible feeling.  You feel like no matter how hard you try that you can’t win.  I don’t ever bother looking at tips on “How to live frugally”.  What is the point since all the money goes to paying bills every week.

It would be wonderful to be able to buy a table spread of allergen free foods for the girls but that is impossible.  I spent $50 on two small bags of groceries.  To make a pie using walnuts, dates and 2 bags of apples it will cost me $30.  If you didn’t have allergies to worry about then you could buy a cheap processed pie from the supermarket for $5.  You could have 6 fancy pies on the table instead of our one allergen free pie for my girls.

Food allergies put a different spin on a Holiday that really does make it harder.  I feel lonely as we are walking this path by ourselves.   When I was a girl and imagined having our own family never did I dream of spending holidays alone.  I had imagined decorating the tree with candy canes and making gingerbread houses with my kids.  Now we make fake gingerbread houses and decorate with fake candy canes but paper & plastic hadn’t been my vision.

Do others get tired of trying to fit into the American traditions?  It feels like there is no community anyway even without thinking of food allergies.  People are super stressed out and not even pleasant as they madly dash around stores.  You hear Christmas music but see no Christmas cheer as rude people cut off other people or snap at each other in the stores.

There has always felt like fakeness to the holidays, as people you don’t see all year, now feel an obligation to buy gifts.  Yet how do you buy gifts without money?  Even making gifts can cost money for supplies.  We tried our best making gifts and bringing relatives gifts but what is the point when they are going to be unsupportive and even down right cruel about the food allergies.

I feel like it is time to start our own new tradition.  I’m not quite sure how it will go since it is a new road but here we go.

Operate or Medicate? What about healthy food?

3 Oct

Operate?  Operate again on our 10 year old niece?  My husband’s family thinks we are nuts, but having Operations and taking Medication is preferred by them  while eating a healthy diet and avoiding processed foods is considered insane by all of them.

My children’s grandparents have been worse bullies as they have made fun of us over the years.  Anything from how we are denying our children their rights to Easter Candy to how Organic Vegetable and Fruits are just a marketing ploy that we are so foolish and gullible to hand our money over.  My Father-in-law will laugh continuously at our food that we prepare which makes his granddaughters so sad.

Yet in their world becoming totally medicated is what life is all about.  Our niece since the time she was a toddler was not gaining enough weight so at 2 years old the family was told by the “Doctors” to load her up with junk food to put on some weight.  So she continuously ate cheese doodles.  Before I even knew myself about food allergies and all the chemicals in food I had questioned “Is that wise?  Feeding a two year old constantly bags of cheese doodles?”  My husband said that his sister felt like it was the only thing the kid would eat and the doctor approved of it too.

At the age of 9 she had her tonsils removed because she still suffered from not putting on weight and was often sick.  Over the past year she hasn’t made any improvements and now can’t pass a stool very well so my husband tells me last night that the doctor wants to cut out part of her intestine and then put her on some strict diet.

I asked him “Why can’t your family even consider that the junk food she eats is making her sick.”  He says that they will never believe it is the food.  His family is 100% believers that our food is good for us and that if the child can’t eat the food then something is wrong with her and not the food.

Isn’t it backwards I ask my husband to operate and then go on a strict diet?  This isn’t the first time I heard a story like this.  I wrote in my diary “Food Nightmare” seven years ago about how a friend was having her toddler operated on because he wouldn’t sleep at night for sleep apnea and the doctor said if that didn’t work then they would do a home study and see about dietary changes.  I just don’t understand why not start with the food and look at what is happening in the environment first before going to the hospital?

I think it is so crazy and yet his family thinks I’m crazy.  After 10 years of hearing different stories my guess would be to eliminate out the processed foods from her diet.  I mentioned Celiac Disease to my husband, but he said that his sister will only listen to the doctors and his parents so Celiac Disease isn’t possible for the niece to have.

How did the world become like this?  I feel so sad because instead of eliminating the junk food the family is going to have the little girl operated on again.  I think this is crazy while they think it is crazy that I’m not feeding my kids all the junk food loaded with chemicals. My girls are thriving and 100% healthy.  My kids are not on any  medications.  When the doctors recommended to me that that I consider having an operation for Rose when she suffered from  Rectal Prolapses. – I was committed in finding a better way, and only having an operation as a last resort.  We learned everything we could about prolapse rectums and cut out all gluten foods from our diet.  She has never had this problem since.

A life without processed foods means one that is filled with more time in the kitchen and many more dishes.  I much rather devote my time to making meals from scratch   then to ever having my girls medicated or going into the operating room.  Maybe we are the outcast from my husband’s family but we much rather be on this path in our lives.

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